Author's pov

Night time, Hospital corridor

The whole corridor is smoky and smelling as ashes. Dr Aarav is sitting on the ground, knees folded toward his chest. With one hand he is grabbing his head, and in between the fingers of other, he is holding a ciggerate.

His eyes are teary, and his breathes aren't clear. He has spiralled in an anxiety attack again.

Aarav's POV

People say pain is a temporary part of our lives. They say that pain comes just to teach us something, and then life gets better. I have heard them saying that life is good.
I guess it all is there way to escape from the hardships. All are a bunch of idiots who do not know the reality of life. The thing is pain is the forever part of our life, that no matter how good you do, no matter at what post you are, it will always stay with you.
My mom used to say if you do good to others, good will happen to you, but ig it is just anothr mirage which was bought to my eyes because nothing has ever been goood for me. Good things, are they even real? Fuck it. Some people are only meant to have sufferings, some are just meant to cry their whole life. And I am one of them. I am just born to suffer. I am tired of this life which I have....

Tears are flowing down my cheek, and I am just inhaling the smoke. If someone saw me in this condition, they wont believe it. The same Aarav Singh, who doesnt hesitate before saying the most cruelest thing, the same aarav singh who is alwats on the top, who can ruin the career of anyone going against him, the same Aarav on whom girls drool - the same Aarav who appears to have everything in their lives, is empty on the inside? Same aarav who has nothing except his loneliness, and the haunting nightmares from the past? Who will believe that the aarav who always has anger on his nose, is crying like a pathetic child when alone?

I have accepted my fate, than why can not I have a little peace of mind? Acceptance is the key than why am I in this situation rn? (inhaling more) I took out my wallet again, Idk how many times do I see this, but it is never enough... My love.. even you chose to betray me, leave my hand..the world had always betrayed me but I still chose to put my trust in you..only to be proven wrong again. One thing I have realised, I should not trust people, and I should stay alone all the time, jsut focus on my own life, on my own well being.
I will always be alone, so fuck it!!!!

After few minutes, I got up. I went to the bathroom and washed my face. It was the time to tke a round, my patients need me rn. I can be pathetic later.
So I started my round, checked the patients who has surgeries, and those who are admitted for few days.
It has been five years. Five years since I have been a senior professor in neurology. I have witnessed many deaths, and have seen a lot of patients dying in front of my eyes. While they all died of different diseses or situations, one thing has always been common with us. That is, they all have fallen in love with their life, and I have heard them crying, saying I want to live more... How ironic! When we are all healthy we are still crying over the things we dont have, we are imprecating god for these hardships, we are wanting to die... but when death approaches we are willing to live more!
The thing which scares me, on my deathbed, I will be crying and regrettign that I have wasted my whole life on grieving nd never once lived.
I checked more patients, nd then decided to visit the patient Shikha, the one on whom we performed the surgery today. Everyone has went home, as their work was over. Today wasn't much task afterall.

Shikha was in the personal ward. I was moving toward her room when I heard the sound of some chatters and giggles. The voice was kinda recognisable.. but I dont know who it was. I opened the door, and saw Isha sitting beside shikha along with nurse and shikha's mother

I couldnt help but look at the scene. Shikha was lying on the bed, weak and tired but was smiling. Shikha's mother had tears, but was smiling, and the nurses too were just chuckling. Isha was telling a story.

Isha- And thatt motherfuckker even ruined my Call it What You Want To song!

Alisha- Seriously all men are same/

Shikha- (weakly) No way!!!!

Isha- He did it.. and he had no regrets. People can't reflect on their actions. an advice for yoy, never dedicate this song to anyone

Shikha- Di.. My .. daylight song was ruined!!

Isha was dramatically holding her head...

Isha- These men dont deserve taylor;s song!!

Alisha- You're right.. my ex ruined my 'gorgeous' somg

Isha- Chinnara sala (manwhore)

shikha giggled.

I spoke up then

Aarav- what is happening here?

everyone turnd around, the silence could be felt. Isha stood up and smiled. the nurses left the room.

aarac- Isha why are you ere?

before isha could say anyting, shikha's mom said

shikha's mom- Shikha just wanted to spend some time with Dr Isha. So I asked everyone to call her... Really Dr Isha, idk how to thank you.. you have helped my daughter alot. She was going home but stopped for us. My shikha is smiling due to her

I looked at them again, Isha and Shikha were chatting more closely, it looked as if they were gossiping about soemthing..

I just nodded, and then checked on Shikha.
Aarav- You should sleep now shikha.. take rest. dr isha needs to take rest too!

Shikha nodded, and smiled at isha. Isha too smiled.

We then went out of the ward and were going to the common room. Isha was smiling and walking, too happy to be real. I dont know what happened to me, but I spoke up. For the first time Iinitited talking to someone.
Aarav- u look so happy.
Isha turned back and looked at me

Isha was acting dramatically rn

Isha-hawwwww!! Look who is talking rn!! It is dr aarav himself

In the morning you were like Dont talk to me dont touch me, and right now u are yourself spealing hehheeh

Aarav- Isha...

Isha- Sorry sorry! A little bad habit! I am very hppy rn!! We had a great gossip session, al of us taunting our exees and thier actions. We were discuss about ll of it and also abusing our 'Mauga' ExIt is a girl's therapy! You wont get it Dr Aarav

Aarav- girl's therapy!

Isha- yes.. that's why it is so boring to be a boy!
Aarav- and Mauga?

Isha- bihari slang, you wont get it either

She jump walked and reached to the room. She was packing her bag/ It was a pink colored bag, and has so many key rings on it!!!! It was also covered with badges. Some those japani Cartoons, some those korean band and some were romantic coupes...

I didn't say anything. She kept her coat on the desk, took out something from her pocket. And then, other junior also came, junior Shriti.

Isha- here till now?

Shriti smiled automatically looking at isha, and nodded yes Dr.

Isha smiled back, and she opened the thing in her pocket. It ws a lip balm, and she was applying it on her lips. Shriti was looking at her, and isha must have felt it. Isha called shriti, and shriti just went. Ofcourse, juniors are scared. Isha applied the lip bam on her lips too.

Isha- this shade suits you so much!!!

Shriti- Which company is it? I was willing to buy a tintd lip balm from pretty long.
isha- It's swiss beauty's newly launched lip balm!! Get it!!

Shriti smiled, and went happily.

Aarav- what is so big? It is just a lip balm, why is she so happy?

Isha looked at me, in disbelief/

Isha- You are a man, you wont get it!Btw you can also use it..

Aarav- keep it to yourself please

Isha- men!! (she rolled her eyes)

She took her bag, and walked to the car parking, and I too went there, leaving for home.
Isha was taking ot her car and rode it, and my eyes were just looking at gthe disappearing figure.

I too sat on my car, and unlike other days overthinking, today I just felt lighter. I dont know why, maybe because I have cried earlier. But overall, I felt good!